


Parental Figures

by FancyTyper



Category: The Bold Type
Genre: Abandonment, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Father-Daughter Relationship, Heartbreak, Loneliness, Mother-Daughter Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-26
Updated: 2018-09-26
Packaged: 2019-07-17 20:36:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16103333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FancyTyper/pseuds/FancyTyper
Summary: A look at Sutton's parents.





	Parental Figures

**Author's Note:**

> Thought I'd write about Sutton's past with her mom and dad; I love Sutton as a character and I just wanted to see what her life was like before going to New York and working at Scarlet.

Sutton never knew her father. He had left her and her mother when she was three. Her mom had told her that he had said he was going out to get milk and then never came back. Her mom also told her that he was a druggie; always looking for his next hit wherever he could get it. (“And he wasn’t gettin’ it from us, honey.” Her mother used to say to her.) And Sutton, who had only been five at the time, believed her. Believed that her dad wasn’t coming back and that he had left because she — or her mom — couldn’t give him what he wanted most. And that drugs were more important to him than being a father or husband. 

But his absent only made Sutton crave a father more, she’d see her friends with their dads and feel this longing tug at her heart. She wanted to have that feeling of excitement when she saw her dad waiting for her outside of school. She wanted to cry with delight when her dad let her sit in the front seat of his truck instead of the back. She wanted to be loved by someone who she could trust and know that they would always be there for her when she needed them.

When she would be at a friend’s house and one of her friend’s dads would greet her with a hug, a part of her wanted to stay there and take in the feeling of simply getting a  _ hug  _ from a dad. Or when they’d ask Sutton and her friend if they’d want to go with him to run errands, Sutton would jump up with eagerness. Even doing something as simple as going grocery shopping or to the bank with a dad sounded like an adventure to her. So while her friends’ would roll their eyes and beg Sutton to change her mind, Sutton would race toward the car, buzzing with excitement.

But it wasn’t just the grocery store trips and the goodbye hugs Sutton wanted, she also wanted the stupid stuff. Like the ever-present Dad Jokes; the ones that went like: “Dad, I’m hungry.”

“Hi, Hungry. I’m Dad.”

The jokes that Moms wouldn’t make and her friends’ would roll their eyes at in embarrassment. She wanted to have that  _ oh-god-this-is-my-dad _ sigh when he did something dorky, like call out her name in the middle of a large crowd at school. Or let out a laugh that had one too many snorts in it when they were out with friends or near a cute boy.

Not only did Sutton want the good things that came with having a dad but she also wanted the bad. The fights. The disagreements. The “No you can’t go out with your friends tonight, it’s a school night.” only to find that her friend had snuck out anyway and it was only a matter of time till her dad found out. And when he did they’d fight and she’d say “You’re ruining my life!” and storm up the stairs and call Sutton to cry about how unfair her life was and how her dad didn’t understand her. And Sutton would listen and comfort her and agree, “Yeah, he’s totally being a jerk.” Even though she kind of agreed with him. Her friend should’ve listened to her dad. Sutton would’ve.

And then her friend would apologize to her dad and she’d tell Sutton that everything worked out and she wasn’t grounded. 

Sutton thought that was the main thing she craved from having a father. That unconditional love they had for their children. That no matter what they did, he would always love them. Whether it was sneaking out on a school night or crashing the car; he’d still love them, even if they fight and yell. She wanted someone who was her rock.

But no matter how hard Sutton wished or prayed or hoped, it never happened. Her dad didn’t magically show up on her doorstep, ready to apologize and finally be the father he was meant to be to her. He never would. Sutton had accepted that after years of failed birthday wishes. He was never coming back. He didn’t want her. Did anyone?     

 

* * *

 

Her mother was another nightmare. She did not leave Sutton, she stayed and brought the chaos and heartbreak with her. If her Dad was a druggie than her Mom was an alcoholic. Sutton didn’t just lose her father, she also lost her mother; sure Barbra didn’t leave Sutton but sometimes it felt like she did.

Throughout her childhood Sutton raised herself, from the moment she was seven she was getting herself up for school; making her own breakfast—sometimes it was cold cereal or burnt eggs and toast, it depended on what they had in the fridge. Or, during a low moment, it was nothing. She’d make her lunch— or find spare change under the couch cushions— and she’d walk herself so the bus stop. At least  _ that  _ was free.

And when she’d get home from school Barbra had either already left to go to ‘work’-- she usually got fired from the job she had that month the third week in. Or she was still asleep in her room from the night before. Sometimes Sutton would fear that she’d come home and Barbra wouldn’t be breathing at all. And sometimes she’d hope for that; a nasty, angry part of her wishing that she could be away from her mother for good. But then she’d think of the alternative to living with Barbara; a foster home or living in a foster house that was  _ worse _ than this one. Then she’d shake herself and tell herself to not be so selfish and mean. Her mother needed her. 

There were days, sometimes weeks even, when her mother would actually  _ be  _ a mother. Meaning she’d get up to make breakfast for Sutton, pack her lunch, even sign a permission slip for a school field trip. She’d sit Sutton down and tell her how much she regrets not being the mother Sutton needed— deserved. (“It’s not fair to you, baby.” Barbra would say as she stroked Sutton’s hair. “And I’m sorry. Really. I promise, from here on out, things are gonna be different for us.” And she’d smile in a way that had Sutton believing her.) And Barbra would try, Sutton had to give her that, she would pick Sutton up from school; schedule her dentist appointments, help her with homework, and even take her to the library to pick out books. Or, on the rare occasions, she’d buy Sutton a copy of  _ Scarlet _ magazine. Sutton had been reading that since she was seven; sure she didn’t understand the sex stuff, but she loved looking at the pictures. The glossy photos of beautiful woman in even more beautiful clothes. Fashion was something that made Sutton feel less alone.  _ Scarlet  _ made her feel less alone.

But Sutton learned that things, especially good things, don’t last forever. So after about three weeks, Barbs would fall off the ‘Good Mother Pedestal’ and Sutton would either wake up to her mother stumbling through the living room or hear her throwing up in the bathroom across the hall from Sutton’s room. And in those moments, because there were many,  _ many _ of them, Sutton would feel as if her perfect world had crumbled. Again and again; it would fall and shatter; the broken bits would cut Sutton and she would bleed out of wounds that would heal and reopen more than once. It was a pain she had never felt before, it was the pain of betrayal. The pain of realizing that, like her father, her mother wanted to get drunk more than she wanted to be a mother. And Sutton would go back to caring for herself; to burnt toast and empty lunch bags. To bus rides and missed field trips. Of having to having to hold Barbra’s hair back while she got sick in the kitchen sink. Of having to help Barbra into bed or find a blanket for her because she had passed out on the couch.

Sutton was back to being alone. And sometimes not even fashion or  _ Scarlet _ could keep her from drowning in it.              

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! Please leave a comment/kudos


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